I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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