I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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