I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
only if we run a train.
done.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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