I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
