Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
