We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
