So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
