I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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