Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
