woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
