Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
