FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
