Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
