i may or may not be watching the land before time
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
