Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
