Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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