ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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