I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
