i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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