think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
