Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
