i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
