Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
