So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
