When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
