READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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