And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
