You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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