Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
