Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
