that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
