No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
is wine microwaveable?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
this is an emotional support booty call
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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