my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
