The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
