like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
P.S. I can't hear my feet
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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