we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
