I'm really into asian looking animals
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
