As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
