Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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