Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
