turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
