Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
