I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
