do herpes really smell.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
