So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
