i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
