If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
