im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
