hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
