This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
