Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
